it's hard for me to breathe at work today. it shouldn't be, but it is. today like pretty much everyday in my profession people are receiving bad news and good news from their doctors based on my work. after almost 8 years at it you'd think i could distance myself. and for the most part, i have been pretty good at it. but working with high-risk samples means you give results that are pretty grim a lot of the time. Lillian's sample was one of the first few to be run on this new test.
a very scared mother and father are going to be getting some results in a few hours that will change their lives forever. their baby will not live. no surgery, no medicine can fix what is wrong. and as soon as the analysis is complete i will be giving the results to our director who will be calling the doctor who will be meeting with the patient who will be devastated.
i know that mine is an important role and one that has to be done. but i'm having a hard time right now reconciling everything. like my own personal pain - i just have to take a deep breath and try to keep moving.
I can't imagine how difficult it would be to work in a field that would dredge up such painful memories!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you're struggling right now. I do hope these next two months fly by and beautiful Baby C is here safe & sound before you know it.