week by week

when we were pregnant with our first my husband read out-loud to me and the baby every tuesday night. "your baby is the size of a plum and you should have gained this much weight this week" it was sweet and wonderful and i'm so glad we did it. two years later, when we became pregnant with lillian i wanted that again. except this time it just wasn't the same. it's true what they say about your first - it's just special that way. and we did read that book every sunday. and when i was still in the hospital and i sent my mother-in-law and husband to (in my words) "clean the house of everything lillian" that book was stored away. put away with all the "new baby" things - some of which are still too painful for me to have out to see everyday. our weeks start on wednesdays with this baby, so a tuesday night reading would make sense again, but i'm just not up for it. at this point in my pregnancy baby C is just gaining weight and improving lung function, so the idea of pulling out that book (and a few others) seems pointless. there was a time when they were great to have - but now i think it's time for them to hit the road. even if we decide to have another child i don't see a use for that book. i'm just not that kind of pregnant woman anymore.