not really a lot to say

of course the waiting is the hardest part. (didn't i write about that awhile ago?) the fear is abating, but the excitement is not quite up there yet. some days i feel miserable about still being pregnant. some days i want to hold this baby so bad that i get close to calling and asking to be induced. (which i know my docs would let me do at this point) but most days i try to take a deep breath and enjoy this gift of pregnancy as it lasts. enjoy being lucky enough to have this child with me as long as i have and hold on to the hope that i will be able to raise it and have it join our wonderful family. i had a day dream yesterday about what it will look like being in the hospital with my two beautiful living children and my husband. our first photo as our new family. i almost cried just thinking about it. i don't know if i will have enough tears for all the happy times i'm going to want to cry that day. in the meantime, the car seat is installed and the bag is packed. now when is that baby coming???